One day, it hit me. All this disappointment wasn’t because my husband was doing something wrong – it was because I was holding onto these expectations so tight they were suffocating both of us. The more I expected, the more disappointed I got, and the more unhappy we both became.

I used to have this perfect picture in my head of what my husband should be. You know the type – the one who reads your mind, plans surprise dates, and does all those things we see in movies. But reality hit different, and for the longest time, I felt disappointed. Every time he didn’t meet my expectations, it felt like a little heartbreak.

So I tried something different. I started erasing those expectations, one by one. Instead of waiting for him to plan that perfect date, I started taking myself on solo adventures. You wouldn’t believe how peaceful it feels to just walk in nature by yourself, no expectations weighing you down. I started finding joy in simple things – like grabbing coffee with my girlfriends who can make me laugh until my stomach hurts.

The funny thing is, when I stopped expecting my husband to be everything, I started seeing him for who he really is. Sure, he might not be the romantic hero from those romance novels, but he has his own way of showing love. I learned to appreciate what he does give, rather than focusing on what he doesn’t.

For the things I wasn’t getting from my marriage, I found other healthy ways to fulfill those needs. Need someone to have deep conversations with? That’s what my best friend is for. Want to try that new restaurant? I’ll take myself there! It’s amazing how much happier you can be when you stop waiting for one person to be your everything.

I wish someone had told me this sooner. It would have saved me from so many nights of frustration and tears. But you know what they say – what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And this journey definitely made me stronger. It taught me that the key to happiness isn’t about getting others to meet your expectations – it’s about letting go of those expectations and creating your own joy.

To anyone out there struggling with similar feelings, remember this: Your happiness doesn’t have to depend on someone else meeting your expectations. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is let go of how you thought things should be and embrace how they are. Trust me, there’s so much freedom in that.

This doesn’t mean settling or giving up on love. It means loving smarter, loving yourself more, and understanding that one person can’t and shouldn’t be your everything. It means building a rich life filled with different sources of joy and fulfillment.

Today, I can honestly say I’m happier than ever. Not because my husband changed, but because I did. And that change made all the difference.

In the fast-paced world we live in, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind, especially when you’re juggling roles as a parent, partner, business owner, and everything in between. Finding time for yourself might seem like a luxury, but in reality, it’s a necessity. One of the most impactful ways I’ve learned to reset and find peace is through solo dates—intentional time spent with yourself.

Nature Dates: A Reset for the Soul
There’s something about being surrounded by nature that pulls you back to your center. Whether it’s a walk in the park, sitting by a lake, or hiking through the woods, nature has a way of reminding you to be calm, to breathe, and to simply be. It draws you back to peace in a way few things can.

I use my nature dates as a time to read and meditate on the Word of God. I have a white rocking chair on my deck that faces the woods near my house. I love sitting there quietly, listening to the birds chirping or the wind blowing. I even have binoculars that allow me to see the beauty of the birds and trees up close. On some days, I spend time reading the Bible and meditating on it. These moments are sacred—they help me reconnect with my spirit and draw me closer to God.

Book Dates: Immersing Yourself in a Good Read
Another solo activity I treasure is my book dates. There’s nothing quite like getting lost in a good book, allowing the world around you to fade as you immerse yourself in the pages. As a mom, I had to be intentional about carving out this time.

Once in a while, I put my kids to bed early on weekends. While I typically let them stay up later since there’s no school, I make an exception for myself. I tuck them in at 8 p.m., knowing I’ve created space for an hour of uninterrupted reading. That hour feels like a sanctuary, where I can dive deep into a story and escape for a little while. Afterward, I treat myself to a bath date—half an hour of soaking in warm water to unwind even further.

Bath Dates: Small Moments of Self-Care
These bath dates have become essential to my self-care routine. After my kids are asleep and I’ve enjoyed my reading time, I let myself relax in the quiet. It’s a mini-retreat right in my home, where I allow myself to simply be. I love the smell of a nice candle and the soothing aroma of a bath bomb. To complete the experience, I put on some relaxing spa music and let the peacefulness of the moment wash over me. These simple but intentional actions nourish my soul.

Solo Dates: Time with Yourself, and God
Solo dates are incredibly underrated. They offer something more than just “alone time”; they are moments of reflection, spiritual connection, and personal growth. It’s time spent with yourself—and for me, with God—where I can focus inward, connect, and find clarity. These moments strengthen my relationship with myself and remind me of the importance of self-care and personal peace. It’s just you, your thoughts, and the quiet of the world around you.

A Letter to My Younger Self: Start Earlier
If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self to start solo dates much earlier. I didn’t begin until my late 20s, but now I see how valuable this practice could have been in my teens or early 20s. When you intentionally spend time with yourself, you learn to understand your needs better. You build a stronger sense of self, which can benefit you in every area of your life. Solo dates help you discover who you are outside of your roles and responsibilities—just you.

Final Thoughts
If you haven’t started already, I encourage you to make time for solo dates. Whether it’s a walk in nature, a quiet reading session, or a warm bath, these moments with yourself are priceless. They are opportunities to reset, recharge, and reconnect with the most important person in your life—you. Take time to be with yourself, and you’ll be surprised at how much peace it brings.

Solo time with you, yourself, and God is truly the best time. So, set aside a moment for yourself—your soul will thank you for it.

Parenting is a beautiful adventure filled with moments of joy, laughter, and love. But let’s be honest—it’s also filled with moments where you’d sell your soul for five minutes of peace. Some days, I’d rather collapse into bed and hibernate than face the marathon of getting the kids to sleep. But alas, I somehow muster the strength to go through the bedtime saga (because we all know it’s never just bedtime).

And mornings? Pure chaos. It’s a miracle if I get my kids to sit down and eat. Meanwhile, I’m multitasking like I’m in a reality show called Survival: Kitchen Edition—scrambling eggs with one hand, doing dishes with the other, and trying to ignore the fact that I’d love to be sitting down enjoying my breakfast. But nope, moms don’t sit. We hover around like sleep-deprived waiters at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Then there’s the inevitable bus chase. You’d think after years of practice, I’d have the timing down. Nope. Some days it’s like I’m an extra in a high-speed chase movie—waving wildly as my son sprints for the bus, and I’m praying the driver spots us before we have to brave the horror of carpool. Spoiler: I hate carpool.

It’s exhausting. It’s chaotic. But here’s the thing: even on the days when I’m running on fumes and caffeine, there’s something about these crazy, hectic moments that makes it all worth it. I may be tired, but seeing those sweet smiles (and even the bus-chasing adrenaline) reminds me why I keep going.

Parenting isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about showing up—frazzled hair, mismatched socks, and all. So here’s to the chaos, the exhaustion, and the beautiful mess that is motherhood. And hey, if you ever see me chasing that bus, just give me a wave. I’ll take all the encouragement I can get.

There’s something magical about a clean sink—every dish put away, countertops clear, and no lurking towers of plates waiting for attention. It’s a simple, small thing, but I’ve come to realize it has a ripple effect that reaches far beyond the kitchen.

For me, a clean sink isn’t just about tidying up; it’s about self-discipline. It’s about setting the tone for the day by knocking out the small tasks that lay the foundation for larger accomplishments. When I take a few minutes to put all the dishes away, it feels like I’m resetting my space—and my mind. There’s a clarity and sense of order that comes from knowing I’ve tackled something right from the start.

And here’s the truth: if I can commit to keeping my sink clean, I can commit to so much more. That small act of discipline in the kitchen translates into discipline in other areas of life. It’s like flexing a muscle—start with the basics, and the strength builds. If I can stay on top of the daily routine at home, I’m much more likely to stay on top of things in my business. It’s the little wins, like clearing the sink or organizing my desk, that make the big wins possible.

When my physical space is clutter-free, my mind feels less cluttered too. That gives me room to think clearly, focus on my work, and be more productive. Whether it’s tackling client tasks, bookkeeping, or even brainstorming for my business, the small habits I practice daily set me up for success in those bigger, more critical areas.

We often overlook the power of the little things, but the truth is, success in life and business starts with mastering the everyday. A clean sink may seem insignificant, but it’s a symbol of consistency, discipline, and the drive to take control of your day—one small task at a time.

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck, start with something simple. Clean the sink. Fold the laundry. Organize your desk. Those little victories will give you the momentum to conquer bigger challenges, both at home and in your business.

After all, a clean sink isn’t just about the dishes. It’s about creating the space—physically and mentally—for what really matters.

Marriage is often described as a journey. Like any journey, it has its smooth stretches and rough patches. For my husband and me, we hit one of those rough patches a few years ago. It was the kind of period that felt insurmountable—filled with hurt, miscommunication, and distance. In my mind, we had both become porcupines, prickly and defensive, incapable of reaching each other without getting hurt.

To shield myself, I emotionally distanced myself from him. It was a natural defense mechanism. I didn’t want to be hurt anymore, and as long as I stayed within my bubble, I could avoid feeling the sting of disappointment. I directed all my energy toward things that made me happy—my work, my passions, and my dreams. At some point, I even began preparing for a life without him, capturing moments of “marrying myself” in my 30th birthday photos.

But while I may have left emotionally, God never left me.

In His grace, God began to work in my heart, slowly bringing me back home, both spiritually and emotionally. I began to realize that in my quest to protect myself, I had gone too far. I wasn’t just shielding myself from hurt; I was shutting out love, too. God reminded me that real strength doesn’t come from being guarded but from being open—open to His love and to the love of others.

Over the last three years, God has worked a miracle in our marriage. He took two porcupines and softened our hearts. My husband and I are no longer just surviving in our marriage—we’re thriving. God restored what we thought was beyond repair, and He reminded me of the beauty of vulnerability, forgiveness, and grace.

I learned that sometimes, in protecting ourselves, we lose touch with the softer, more joyful parts of who we are. But by allowing God to guide us, we can find the courage to let go of that armor and embrace love, flaws and all.

If you’re in a season of distance or emotional withdrawal, I encourage you to lean into God. He can restore what feels broken, and bring you back home to each other. There’s always hope when you let love—His love—lead the way.