Marriage is often described as a journey. Like any journey, it has its smooth stretches and rough patches. For my husband and me, we hit one of those rough patches a few years ago. It was the kind of period that felt insurmountable—filled with hurt, miscommunication, and distance. In my mind, we had both become porcupines, prickly and defensive, incapable of reaching each other without getting hurt.

To shield myself, I emotionally distanced myself from him. It was a natural defense mechanism. I didn’t want to be hurt anymore, and as long as I stayed within my bubble, I could avoid feeling the sting of disappointment. I directed all my energy toward things that made me happy—my work, my passions, and my dreams. At some point, I even began preparing for a life without him, capturing moments of “marrying myself” in my 30th birthday photos.

But while I may have left emotionally, God never left me.

In His grace, God began to work in my heart, slowly bringing me back home, both spiritually and emotionally. I began to realize that in my quest to protect myself, I had gone too far. I wasn’t just shielding myself from hurt; I was shutting out love, too. God reminded me that real strength doesn’t come from being guarded but from being open—open to His love and to the love of others.

Over the last three years, God has worked a miracle in our marriage. He took two porcupines and softened our hearts. My husband and I are no longer just surviving in our marriage—we’re thriving. God restored what we thought was beyond repair, and He reminded me of the beauty of vulnerability, forgiveness, and grace.

I learned that sometimes, in protecting ourselves, we lose touch with the softer, more joyful parts of who we are. But by allowing God to guide us, we can find the courage to let go of that armor and embrace love, flaws and all.

If you’re in a season of distance or emotional withdrawal, I encourage you to lean into God. He can restore what feels broken, and bring you back home to each other. There’s always hope when you let love—His love—lead the way.